Many of you have heard the expression a change of seasons, with four seasons a year we always get to start anew. But what about our own lives? In a way as we travel through each and every day of our lives we too have a change of season. You go from being born, growing to adulthood and then there is a new season with each new event that happens in your life (marriage, baby, a job, a move, etc).
Sure some of us wish we could have a cheat sheet to see how we are suppose to travel this path called life, figure out our destiny and our reason for living, others would never dare use one because only their way is the right way. Last year my path changed, I did something totally unpredictable….I moved my kids and I to California from Indiana. Not many would do this, especially when you are leaving your husband in another state and have no clue how long it will be. But knowing it could take months, to a year or two before we would be back together as a family. Instead in the mean time we would have to accept the fact that we’d only be able to all be together during holiday breaks and the summer. But at the time it was for the best interest for the children, the job wasn’t a for sure thing and neither was where we were living. I knew we could make it, but it would take guts to get there. This would not be something I’d ever done and the last time I tried anything on my own I got stalked. This time though, I’d grown. People say that as you have a child a lion is formed within the momma, well I had just had my 5th child and I knew I had to do this.
I would stay with two families (my parents and his sister) before finding my own place, but when we did we knew everything would be okay. There was something about where I was brought to though. See many years ago, as a child something horrible happened to me in California and I never thought I’d ever live in the desert again once I moved away. In fact when I would visit my skin would crawl as we’d drive by certain areas or I’d get flashbacks. I worried that that would happen again and this time it would just be me with the kids, no support. But that didn’t happen and the place I am at makes me feel at peace. Many things have been going on behind the scenes since we’ve moved, a lot has changed. The kids of course are changing every day, especially Nicoli but so are we as parents….as adults, individuals.
I’ve grown more than any other time in my life. I’ve discovered a love for cooking that I’ve never had and by that I don’t just mean going to the store and buying hamburger helper. Instead I have become great friends with Pinterest and Facebook for all the recipes that go across my screen. I’m learning to make my own biscuits instead of buying Pillsbury and I like it better. I’ve learned to make peanut butter pie, green bean casserole, french toast casserole and many, many crockpot meals. I love my crock pot! I trust myself cooking, I know you can’t totally mess something up. So see, you can teach an old dog new tricks. Oh and if my husband or any of my kids are reading this, no this post does not give you the thumbs up on calling me old, only I can do that.
I drive more, this is not something I was really willing to do before. I didn’t drive until I was 26 years old, didn’t want to do so, period. Long story short, my husband liked driving so I let him do it. Why fight when you don’t really like to deal with traffic or crazy people on the road. No, I’m not meaning me, actually I’m pretty safe, in fact I’d probably irritate most because I do go the speed limit, but with 5 kids in the car I’d be stupid not to follow the rules of the road. I’m learning to fix my car too and watch for signs of when to take it in.
I’ve also developed some great friendships here, this is not something I would say lightly. Friendships like I have developed I’ve only had a few other times. We go to church now too, I hadn’t been to a church in years and now I go twice a week and my oldest daughter also goes twice a week. I’m figuring out where I fit in with life but while I have been here and getting to know God again (yes, again, as a teen I went almost every day of the week. I quit when a pastor’s wife told me I didn’t belong at the age of 21 and hadn’t been back until now) this isn’t the easiest of things. How do I explain things to my children when I didn’t always teach them? Have you been down this road? I have one that is very reluctant while the rest are eager to learn more. I can’t say I blame him since I didn’t always teach about him. Honestly, while this has been a sad move, it has definitely help me grow and I can feel this new season has already begun for my family and myself. I can see that it will be different from any season we have ever weathered but I can feel it is about to become a great one. One that feels you up with so much warmth that you just want to share it with everyone. So my dear readers, my friends, I hope you don’t mind that from time to time we will talk about our journey with the church, God, Forgiveness of those who have wronged me in my past and for the journey forward, where ever that might lead.
(Pics were just old but wanted to share)