Change of Seasons, Change of Path
Change of Seasons
Many of you have heard the expression a change of seasons, with four seasons a year we always get to start anew. But what about our own lives? In a way as we travel through each and every day of our lives we too have a change of season. You go from being born, growing to adulthood and then there is a new season with each new event that happens in your life (marriage, baby, a job, a move, etc).
Wishing this Season had a Cheat Sheet to Life
Sure some of us wish we could have a cheat sheet to see how we are suppose to travel this path called life, figure out our destiny and our reason for living, others would never dare use one because only their way is the right way. Last year my path changed, I did something totally unpredictable….I moved my kids and I to California from Indiana. Not many would do this, especially when you are leaving your husband in another state and have no clue how long it will be.
How Long Would this Season Last?
But knowing it could take months, to a year or two before we would be back together as a family. Instead, in the mean time, we would have to accept the fact that we’d only be able to all be together during holiday breaks and the summer. But at the time it was for the best interest for the children, the job wasn’t a for sure thing and neither was where we were living. I knew we could make it, but it would take guts to get there.
This would not be something I’d never done and the last time I tried anything on my own I got stalked. This time though, I’d grown. People say that as you have a child a lion is formed within the momma, well I had just had my 5th child and I knew I had to do this.
Finding My Path along the Past
I would stay with two families (my parents and his sister) before finding my own place, but when we did we knew everything would be okay. There was something about where I was brought to though. See many years ago, as a child something horrible happened to me in California and I never thought I’d ever live in the desert again once I moved away. In fact when I would visit my skin would crawl as we’d drive by certain areas or I’d get flashbacks.
I worried that that would happen again and this time it would just be me with the kids, no support. But that didn’t happen and the place I am at makes me feel at peace. I’m beginning to really love the season that I am in. Many things have been going on behind the scenes since we’ve moved, a lot has changed. The kids of course are changing every day, especially Nicoli but so are we as parents….as adults, individuals.
The Season of Growth
I’ve grown more than any other time in my life. I’ve discovered a love for cooking that I’ve never had and by that I don’t just mean going to the store and buying hamburger helper. Instead I have become great friends with Pinterest and Facebook for all the recipes that go across my screen. I’m learning to make my own biscuits instead of buying Pillsbury and I like it better.
I’ve learned to make peanut butter pie, green bean casserole, french toast casserole and many, many crockpot meals. I love my crock pot! I trust myself cooking, I know you can’t totally mess something up. So see, you can teach an old dog new tricks. Oh and if my husband or any of my kids are reading this, no this post does not give you the thumbs up on calling me old, only I can do that.
I drive more, this is not something I was really willing to do before. I didn’t drive until I was 26 years old, didn’t want to do so, period. Long story short, my husband liked driving so I let him do it. Why fight when you don’t really like to deal with traffic or crazy people on the road.
No, I’m not meaning me, actually I’m pretty safe, in fact I’d probably irritate most because I do go the speed limit, but with 5 kids in the car I’d be stupid not to follow the rules of the road. I’m learning to fix my car too and watch for signs of when to take it in.
I’ve also developed some great friendships here, this is not something I would say lightly. Friendships like I have developed I’ve only had a few other times. We go to church now too, I hadn’t been to a church in years and now I go twice a week and my oldest daughter also goes twice a week. I’m figuring out where I fit in with life but while I have been here and getting to know God again (yes, again, as a teen I went almost every day of the week.
I quit when a pastor’s wife told me I didn’t belong at the age of 21 and hadn’t been back until now) this isn’t the easiest of things. How do I explain things to my children when I didn’t always teach them? Have you been down this road? I have one that is very reluctant while the rest are eager to learn more. I can’t say I blame him since I didn’t always teach about him. Honestly, while this has been a sad move, it has definitely help me grow and I can feel this new season has already begun for my family and myself.
I can see that it will be different from any season we have ever weathered but I can feel it is about to become a great one. One that feels you up with so much warmth that you just want to share it with everyone. So my dear readers, my friends, I hope you don’t mind that from time to time we will talk about our journey with the church, God, Forgiveness of those who have wronged me in my past and for the journey forward, where ever that might lead.
(Pics were just old but wanted to share)
Love this post! Good for you, for being brave, for trusting yourself, for moving halfway across the country with your kiddos. Praying God continues to reveal Himself to you and to your children. Praying you are reunited with your husband sooner rather than later, and that God works it all for HIS glory!
I think it’s amazing you found the strength to move so far. I hope you find happiness there!
I cannot believe a “pastors” wife said that to you! Shame on her! (((hugs))) Praise God you came back! God bless you, sweet sister! YOU, my dear, are amazing and God ADORES you!
(MY Last COMMENT email was wrong. It should be: hisgirl0305@yahoo.com 🙂
When we look back we always think we have grown so much, how much more can we really grow more. But as adults I think we really have the experience to take on more important tasks that help us really grow. Sounds like you have made a move that only will continue to better your life.
You are so strong! Good for you for finding that strength inside.
Can’t wait to see what this new chapter brings! Wonder what you’ll be blogging about in the coming months?
First of all, right about now I am ready to move from Indiana to California…;)
It sounds like an adventure for sure and good for you for learning to do for yourself!
It sounds like you’ve been through quite a journey
I think its courageous. I’m glad that you’ve been able to go after your own happiness!
Wonderful post. I hope that everything works out for you.
The path to our happiness isn’t always easy and certainly takes a lot of strength. Really proud of you for believing in yourself.
That is simply amazing! I have never traveled, let alone moved that far, but California is one place I’d love to visit someday. I’m a fellow Hoosier as well. 🙂
What a beautiful post. I admire your honesty and bravery for sharing so much of yourself with us. Thank you!
Great post, take it one day at a time!
I love this post. I think you did an amazing thing, believing in yourself enough to make the changes you knew were best. I am looking forward to reading your journey as your sharemore.
I dont think life should be easy..we wouldnt apprieciate things!
I can’t wait to read more! I love that God is opening a new chapter in your life.
inspirational! 🙂 this is a beautiful post.
I’ve been thinking about finding a church to go to, as well. I went all the time as a teen, but for reasons I’ll not go into here, I quit going too. Loved this post!
Sometimes the biggest feat is taking the step. I should know that by now but I still freeze and panic before I actually take the step for something new. I miss California and it hurt something fierce when we had to leave it again. But like you once we got back to Oregon I just felt things fall into place. Doesn’t happen over night doesn’t happen because you beg for it to work out. It just does when the times right and then you learn more about yourself and what you’re capable of. Glad you’re finding your groove.
Yep, I was shocked and hurt. Stop going all those years, held a grudge on the church for years. But my heart softened this past year, I had tried for actually the last two years to find a church I liked but until we moved out here I couldn’t. This church, not only feels right but everyone there feels like family. LOVE it!
I won’t lie, it has its moments….watching the kids growing, seeing he is missing so much. But at the time it was the best for them. Now is time to focus on catching up on bills, getting kids to only focus on education and life. I know what I did was right, so with that I have peace. I’m finding myself here and I think it is something I needed to do.
That is what I am hoping. Already I’m finally dealing with issues that should’ve been done long ago but for some reason or another I just pushed them to the side and ignored them. Here I have to face them, there are daily reminders and I’m beginning to like it. Changing and I know I am and it is for the better. I just hope everyone else can keep up or deal with it because I’m not going to stop.
I’m kind of excited to see what I’ll be blogging about next. I’m really thinking on it too. I do think there will be a time of talking about my new journey, forgiveness and of course all the crafts and meals I’m learning to make. Not to mention my oldest graduates next year so I picture a lot of educational posts and learning to let go. Eeek. Do I really have to let go? lol
With all that ice, snow and rain I can’t blame you. I read about all the reports and my husband tells me every day and I just shake my head. I ached living there when it would get cold. (bad back from previous births and knee pain) Here though it is hot, especially at night…or who knows maybe it is heat flashes (I hate growing older sometimes) but last night my oldest told me “Mom it is too hot to sleep.” Told him in Indiana it would be too cold. Hope it warms up for you soon.
I should write about the road trip. One point our car died at a reststop but the rest stop was closed so no bathrooms, my son worried I’d be arrested for breastfeeding my son in a restaurant and our luggage fell out of the van at a check point lol THat’s just part of the journey.
Great post. Indeed, a lion is formed within the momma.. 🙂 I look forward to be as brave as you are. 🙂
Eliza, I know that I haven’t stopped by in a while, but I am so glad I came today and read this post. I am so happy for the chance to know you a little bit better.
Good for you for making the difficult decisions that you needed to for your family. I’m glad to hear that it is helping you overcome pain you are carrying from the past.
As for your journey of faith with your kids, I don’t have a lot of experience with this as a parent. However, I can say from my experience as a kid that it is best to introduce kids to faith, not indoctrinate and push them. Many people (not even family) spent so much of my youth trying to force beliefs on me, that they ended up pushing me away from them. I would recommend talking about your faith as it relates to your life and the good it does for you… it may take time, but I bet your kids will see the joy and peace it brings you and follow.
Relying on your instinct is tough for most of us. It takes years to build confidence. Its not the sort of thing that simply just happens.