The Life of a Home Mom

Opening Pandora’s Box

Have you ever sat and stared at Pandora’s box and wondered whether or not you should open it? Knowing that Pandora’s box reveals things about you that you may and may not be ready to face. But knowing that your past and memories of it that you cannot quite comprehend plague the person you are and haunt you every day. You know the only way to get past it is by coming face to face with the one thing that almost destroyed you before. Would you open Pandora’s box?

Pandora's Box

My Pandora’s Box Landed in my Lap

I faced this very question this week. My Pandora’s Box is a file from my childhood when I once had to testify in court against someone at the time I loved dearly. The fears I had were bigger than a child should ever have to face, but I did it back then, I took the demon (fears) and faced the person in court. If I could do it then, why after all these years have I been afraid?

My Kids found My Pandora’s Box

I tried burying my past so deep that no one could access it, however no matter what I tried to do the flashes of the past would flip on every now and then. I do not like the way the flashes would make me feel and I needed answers. There are many questions about my childhood I wanted to know.  I figured by learning them I might be able to answer why I am the person I am and why certain things bug me as an adult. I knew I’d forgotten some things and knew the only way I’d ever get over it is by facing it.  I believe in the old saying “Things happen for a reason” and the only way I came across this document was unpacking and having my kids read two pages. I knew it was time for me to finally read it.

I opened Pandora’s Box and it has not destroyed me, nor will I let it. I do have to go through the motions of what I have read, but I feel this has and will make me an even stronger person than I was. I know after all these years that it was NOT my fault, nor will I ever take the blame again. I am not that person, nor will I ever be. I am strong for surviving it, but I will be stronger for reading this and making something more of myself.

I Chose to Open Pandora’s Box

I have a desire to reach out to others and share my story if they want to hear. I want to know that those that did wrong will never harm someone else ever again. I want to thank all those involved in the case from the bottom of my heart because they are the ones that saved my life. I wish I could only tell them face to face.  I will no longer be a victim of what I went through, I hope to forgive for what has happened to me and know now that I do not have to forget or have them in my life because I have forgiven. I want the pain to be over and to stop controlling me.

Yes, I chose to open Pandora’s Box and I’m in the process of releasing all the old feelings before I close box and destroy it.

1 thought on “Opening Pandora’s Box

  1. not knowing what to say is one of the hardest things to do as a friend, know that I am here for virtual hugs and phone calls for now 😉

    I know what it’s like to have a “file” though mine only exists in my heart and head. You are a very strong Woman, Wife, Mother and Friend 😉 If anyone can get over a “simple file” it’s you 😉

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