The Life of a Home Mom

5 Ways to Love Your Teens

Did you know, that very loving, cuddling kid that you use to watch endless hours of cartoons with may no longer love doing that? Well, if you have a teen you may have already figured that out when you went to hug them last time and they shrugged away. How do you show teens love the way they need it? Do you love your teens? Of course, you do.

But what’s going on with them? Do they not love you anymore? Not at all, tons are going on with them, they are changing and so is their personality. You need to figure out how to tell connect with your teen and tell them you love them in their way, not the way they use to be or their siblings are. Showing your teen they are loved and accepted will give them security.

If your relationship with your teen is a bit rocky, now is the time to start working on it. Build up that relationship and start to really connect with them. Loving your teen isn’t hard. But if you don’t do it sooner, it will become hard later.

Learn How to Love your Teens

Learning or re-learning your teenager’s love language can be a fun road to travel down. So they no longer like hugs, that’s okay there are other ways to show your teen how much you love them. In Gary Chapman’s book, “5 Love Languages of Teenagers” he explains that our kids may have changed throughout the years. Which makes sense because even we have. Learning how to love your teens will show them just how much you care.

Keep in mind that just showing them you have an interest in them and value their opinion is important. This is also a big step in their future as adults, eventually, they will need to give an opinion, make decisions, come up with ideas of their own. What better way to start than at home. Let them have a voice.

Love them the way they need to be loved. Not the way you want to show them love.

What type of love languages are there? Why is it important? There are plenty but we will focus on the most popular in this post. Follow along and try figuring out which one your teen is. Could be fun to experiment using all of them at one time or another. Learning the way your child feels love is the best reason to figure out their type of love language.

Touch Shows Your Teen Affection

A hug can mean the world to a teenager especially after a rough day at school. These days they have so many different types of stressors all they want is to see the love you have for them. Sometimes a teen will go weeks not being touched by a person, sometimes they are to focused on those tiny screens. Don’t let a week go by without showing them love. High Five them in passing. Show them some sort of affection (<–50 ways to show you love your teen).

  • A quick hug
  • Sitting side by side on the couch
  • a handshake
  • Pat on the back
  • High Five

Words of Affirmations

One way to love your teenager is by sharing with them nice words. Words that really mean something to them. Now not all teens need words of affirmation, but it couldn’t hurt to share a kind thing about them. Teens need to hear the words I love you, at least 1000 times a day, okay maybe not that many but at least once or twice. The words I love you are great and should definitely be said daily but if they like hearing words of affirmations you should encourage them more. Congratulate them on their successes and let them know how proud you are of them. You know you love your teen but they need to know it too.

  • Tell them you are proud of them
  • Congratulate them
  • Use words of affirmations
  • Encourage them
  • Tell them you LOVE THEM (this is highly important)

    Don’t forget you can also encourage them when they are struggling in either sports or grades. Find out what they need help on and tell them they did good, they tried and that’s what counts. Maybe try helping them study for a test or help with the subject. When they do them tell them you are proud of the work they put in. This way they know even if they don’t do great or make a mistake you will still love them.

Acts of Service Can Show love to Teens

Teens are so busy with life, school, and sometimes even working this means they don’t always have the time to do little things. Show them you love your teen by doing some things for them. They’ll totally appreciate and see you have taken an interest in them and knew they could use it. Wouldn’t you like it done? Love your teenager by doing something for them at least once to twice a month.

  • Do one of their chores for them: Fold their laundry, put up their clothes, straighten up their room
  • Pick them up something they might need.
  • Grab them a drink or a snack from the fridge when you see they are doing homework.

Spend Time with Your Teen

Spending time with your teen shows them they are important to you and that you love them. Let them know that they are worth your time. Keep in mind whatever you all decide to do, this means NO electronics unless they want pictures. This is a time meant for the two of you, not adding technology to the mix.

  • Set up a date night with them.
  • Ask them to do a puzzle with you. This can be a time where ya’ll can talk about anything or just be silent asking for certain pieces.
  • Ask if they’d like to go on a walk or a hike with you.
  • Take them fishing/hunting
  • Try renting a movie they want to see and discussing your thoughts before and after.
  • Sign up for an activity or event together.

    One way I used to show love to my oldest daughter was going shopping. We’d walk the mall together chatting about anything and everything, sometimes nothing but what we saw. We’d stop and get a Starbucks and then walk in and out of the different stores and just look around or try things on. After a few months she told me she missed those times, (I did too) she’d gotten busy with work and we hadn’t done them in a while.

Gifts are a great way to show you love your teen in their way

Yes, gifts are another way to love your teens. This doesn’t mean going out and get every item on their wish list. You can simply get the items they enjoy eating/drink. Make them little notes or something handmade. It’s been a few years since they came home to your famous snickerdoodles, make up a batch of them and have them waiting for them.

  • Little notes that tell them you love them
  • a candy bar on their pillow
  • their favorite drink
  • art supplies or items for their hobby

    I have one teen that loves art and music, she loves when she gets supplies. Another gift I have given her is drawings, she loves when I take the time to make her something.

Who knows, after you begin the journey of figuring out your teenager’s love language, you may just figure out how much the two of you actually have in common. Or maybe you’ll discover some new things you enjoy because of your teen. I mean you already know you love your teens, now you need to learn to show your teen you love them in their own love language.

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